Psychologists point out that being overly meticulous and worrying too much is ac

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Voltaire once said, "Perfect is the enemy of good."

Yet we often find ourselves held hostage by perfectionism, exhausting our energy through self-criticism.

Psychologists sharply observe: “Being overly meticulous and worrying too much is, in fact, a physiological trait.”

These individuals crave perfection, are highly strung and anxious, constantly replaying past events or fearing what’s ahead. They may even struggle to tolerate people or situations that don’t align with their expectations.

They use “meticulousness” to control others’ emotions and “excessive concern” as a shield against unknown fears.

In psychology, this is called “projective identification”—projecting onto others the pressures they can’t handle themselves. The result? They drain themselves and push others away.

The book How to Be an Imperfectionist acts like a key to liberation.

Rooted in neuroscience, it breaks down the biological underpinnings of the perfectionism trap and offers a practical guide to break free.

Stephen Guise reminds us: “Perfection is a prison. Imperfection is the key to freedom.”

​1.Being obsessed with details is like locking yourself in a prison.

“I have to score 100 — 99 is as bad as zero.”

That’s the classic mindset of a perfectionist, and it’s also the most damaging trap.

Guise describes an experiment where perfectionists and ordinary people were asked to write a short essay. The perfectionists spent so much time stressing over word choice and structure that they ended up producing lower-quality work.

They create an all-or-nothing rule for themselves: either do it flawlessly, or don’t do it at all.

Those who nitpick everything are trapped in a cycle of “shoulds”: “I should be better,” “I should make everyone happy,” “I should never make mistakes.”

This way of thinking fuels a vicious cycle of self-criticism: forgetting a line in a speech makes them believe “I’m just not cut out for this”; one project mishap leads to doubts like “I’m not capable enough.”

Guise puts it bluntly: “Perfectionists see through a microscope — they zoom in on the flaws but miss how far they’ve already come.”

What’s worse, this obsession becomes a barrier to action.

Some want to exercise but use excuses like “I don’t have the right gear” or “I’m not in the mood today” to procrastinate.

Others want to write but won’t start because “the inspiration isn’t perfect yet.”

As Guise writes: “Perfectionists would rather do nothing than risk being imperfect.”

Life is inherently uncertain and imperfect. Trying to force everything to fit your ideal is like fighting against life itself.

In the end, the only one worn out is you.

2.Overthinking means losing touch with your true self

“Will they think what I said was stupid?”

“What if something goes wrong in the future?”

People who overthink are always anxious about what hasn’t happened yet and stressed about how others see them.

Guise explains that this mindset stems from an addiction to external validation—tying self-worth to others’ opinions and placing a sense of security in controlling the future.

One relatable example from the book: a woman would revise a social media post over a dozen times before posting, terrified that “no likes means I’m not liked.”

Her anxiety, at its core, was a fear of showing her real self—the one who sometimes says the wrong thing, makes mistakes, or isn’t always put together.

Guise writes: “We think perfection will earn us acceptance, but we forget that what truly connects with people is authenticity.”

Overthinkers also often fall into “catastrophizing”: being five minutes late spirals into “my boss will fire me,” a common cold turns into “what if it’s something serious?”

Guise compares it to “keeping your brain on high alert 24/7.”

Staying in this tense state keeps cortisol levels high, which doesn’t just make you irritable and oversensitive—it takes a real toll on your health.

In short: “You aren’t managing life—you’re borrowing trouble from the future.”

3.Go easier on yourself to live a lighter life

“Going easier on yourself” isn’t about giving up—it’s the wisdom of making peace with who you are.

Guise shares his own story of change:

He once set a goal to “work out for one hour every day.” He ended up avoiding the gym entirely for three months.

Everything shifted when he switched to a “one push-up a day” micro-habit. That tiny start slowly grew into a consistent routine.

The lesson? Letting go of perfect outcomes can actually help you move forward more easily.

Going easier on yourself also means accepting sunk costs.

As Guise says: “If you keep crying over spilled milk, you’ll miss the next cup of coffee.”

A failed relationship, a poor decision—what’s done is done. Rehashing it only adds more pain.

Instead, ask yourself as suggested in the book: “Can I change this? If not, what can I do right now?”

Bringing your focus back to the present is the kindest thing you can do for yourself.

It also helps to remember that the process matters more than the outcome.

Guise shares the story of athlete Heather Dorniden: during a race, she fell, got back up, kept running—and won.

Her win wasn’t because she was perfect. It was because she didn’t let imperfection stop her.

Life’s like that, too. We don’t need every step to be flawless. If you’re headed the right direction, progress—even messy progress—beats standing still any day.

4.Final thoughts

As Stephen Guise writes in How to Be an Imperfectionist:

“Life isn’t an exam. There’s no standard answer.”

Those who are too hard on themselves get stuck regretting the past. Those who worry too much burn out anxious about the future.

Real freedom lies in allowing imperfection—letting yourself make mistakes, letting plans change, letting some people not like you.