One Hundred Years of Solitude: The best way to protect yourself is to never pity

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Have you ever felt this way? You treat someone with genuine kindness. The moment they’re in trouble, you step up without hesitation. You think your bond is unbreakable. But then what? Over a minor conflict of interest, or an offhand comment, they suddenly turn on you—maybe even stab you in the back. What’s worse? You never see it coming. Even relatives can turn cold and harsh over money or pride in the blink of an eye. So, here’s the thing—the best way to guard yourself boils down to these three principles.

Don’t be overly compassionate! Not everyone who plays the victim deserves your unconditional help. Your kindness is valuable—save it for the right people. Don’t overestimate your relationships! That person you consider a “ride-or-die” might only see you as an acquaintance. Stay sharp! Learn to detach quickly. You can never truly know what’s going on behind someone’s smile. As Dong Yuhui once said, regarding One Hundred Years of Solitude—a book he considers a must-read in one’s lifetime—it speaks to the very essence of human existence: “Loneliness is the default state of life. As we age, rather than resist it, we might as well learn to embrace solitude.” He also noted, “My happiness comes from staying away from crowds. You have to accept not being understood.” This conscious distance isn’t coldness—it’s wisdom. It stems from the understanding that sometimes, reaching a hand into the abyss might not save the one falling. Instead, you risk being pulled into the darkness yourself.

1. Don’t Easily Pity Anyone

When Buendía took in Rebecca, the orphan girl carrying her parents’ bones, she brought with her the plague of insomnia that made the entire town forget the names of objects—forcing them to label everything, even cow bones. A act of kindness became a thorn in their survival.
Úrsula pitied Petra Cotes, who had been abandoned by her husband, only for Petra to openly carry on an affair with the family’s heir, Arcadio, their passion so intense it shook the marriage bed—and the entire street knew. In the end, compassion turned into a dagger pointed at the family’s dignity.
When Colonel Aureliano Buendía had his seventeen illegitimate sons, he marked each of their foreheads with a cross of ashes at birth. But when government soldiers executed them one by one, the bullets went straight through those very crosses, blood streaking down their faces like earthworms. As the Colonel melted little gold fishes, he drew a white circle around himself—not even his mother Úrsula was allowed to cross it when bringing him food. That circle was a boundary drawn in blood.
Perhaps the most brutal lesson came with the banana massacre. José Arcadio Segundo clawed his way out of a train car filled with dead bodies and stumbled through Macondo screaming, “They killed three thousand people!” But all he got in return were closed shutters and whispers: “There goes the madman again.” You see, in an era where even truth can be erased, isn’t compassion and trust the most extravagant bet you could make? The official statement declared: “No workers died under the banana company’s watch.” As an elderly and blind Úrsula felt her way along the walls, she sighed: “Those who feed the vultures will eventually have their eyes pecked out.”

2. Never Overestimate Your Relationship with Anyone

Colonel Buendía launched thirty-two uprisings and married seventeen women. Returning victorious, he once boasted drunkenly, “My bloodline will anchor the earth like iron chains!” Yet a decade later, when soldiers executed the sons marked with ash crosses on their foreheads, his former comrades stood among the firing squad.
When Fernanda discovered her husband, Aureliano Segundo, was living with his mistress Petra Cotes, she confined him to their mansion—even the chamber pot was made of pure gold. The very couple who once shared intimate moments in their marital bed ended up hurling dishes at each other, consumed by bitterness.
José Arcadio shot his cousin Prudencio over a petty insult, then seized his estate before the body had even cooled. As she whipped her eldest son, Úrsula screamed, “What flows in your veins isn’t blood—it’s poison!”
General Hernén Márquez, who fought side-by-side with Colonel Aureliano for two decades, was later forbidden from stepping within three meters of the white circle the Colonel drew while crafting golden fish. “They respect the rank,” the Colonel murmured, “not Aureliano.”
When the hurricane finally tore through Macondo, the family tree and ancestral records fluttered in the wind like funeral paper. The so-called bonds of blood proved no stronger than trembling spider silk in the storm.
As Yang Jiang once wrote, “Never overestimate your relationships with others, and never underestimate the power of self-interest. Focus on being true to yourself, and let closeness or distance unfold as it may.”

3. Don’t Lose Yourself in Any Relationship

Inside Amarantha’s cedar wardrobe lay two suicide notes. Pianist Crespi slit his wrists the very night she rejected him, his blood soaking the blue ribbon from his proposal. General Hernén Márquez withered away waiting for a love that never came—the last letter he sent was stained with tears.
Every night, Amarantha would trace these relics with her fingers, yet come morning, she’d thrust her hands into a charcoal brazier. The burns were her armor against the lure of passion.
The family’s doom unfolded in a vicious loop of desire: the sixth Aureliano lay with his aunt, Amaranta Úrsula, in the very room that held the bones of their ancestors. A century of taboos collapsed in a single breath.
When the baby born with a pig’s tail wailed in a pool of blood, colonies of red ants swarmed to drag it away. The ancient parchment revealed: “The first of the line is tied to a tree, the last is being devoured by ants.”
Even the ethereal Remedios refused the weight of mortal clothing as she ascended, her virgin body wrapped in a sheet, floating skyward. García Márquez wrote, “She hadn’t the slightest interest in pausing for love.”
As Mo Yan reminds us: “In the end, every relationship is no more than a brief encounter. If you guard your heart, time will leave you unbroken.”

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Final Thoughts
None of this is meant to turn you cold or make you distrust everyone you meet. Rather, it’s a call to be wisely kind—to think before you help: Is this person truly worth it? Will helping them drag you under? Give what you can, but never more than you have.
You can offer your heart, but don’t bet it all on one person—like any investment, don’t put all your emotional capital in one place. Love yourself more. Your worth isn’t defined by others. If you believe you’re enough, then you are. What others say doesn’t matter.
That way, when someone lets you down, you won’t be completely shattered. When expectations crumble, you won’t drown in resentment.
Draw your lines clearly. Know what you can tolerate, and what you can’t.
Protecting yourself boils down to this:
Stay kind, but keep your scales balanced. Be sincere, but always leave yourself a way back.
However life shifts, you’ll stand firm—unshaken.
That’s how you live smart in a complicated world.